There’s a common complaint, or stereotype, of Los Angeles sports fans. They show up late and they leave early. Well, rest of America, there is a reason for this. Sean, JibJab, and I cut out of work about half an hour early to go see Manny being Manny in Dodger Blue. Since Chavez Ravine is only 20 miles away, we figured an hour would give us plenty of time to park, get a Dodger Dog, and catch some BP. Close to two hours later, we arrived at the start of the 2nd inning. Maybe if the ballpark was down the one paved road like the Royals’ stadium (zing to JibJab!), then L.A. fans could arrive on time. Alas, the %$#*ing gridlock deterred our plans.

(In regards to why L.A. sports fans leave early, I can only speak for my teams (Lakers, Trojans). We’re usually winning by that point.)

Let me just say, that was a great game. Excuse me while I hop off the Manny bandwagon to finish this blog. Although I’m still not a true baseball fan, nor do I understand many of the game’s intricacies, I could appreciate the pitching display put on by Clayton Kershaw. I got to see my fantasy team stud Chase Utley score some points for team BatterDayz. And I saw a game winning run in the bottom of the 9th inning, where Russell Martin had to beat the catcher at home. (Hopefully I said that right.) Instead of recapping the game, I decided to take notes and pester JibJab and Mr. ‘Bargain Bin’ Sean with whatever questions popped into my head. Here are few of such moments and exchanges:

What is your favorite thing about a baseball game?
JibJab: Anytime a fly ball goes towards center, the crowd will get excited and cheer, until they inevitably groan when they realize it is about to be easily caught for an out.
Sean: Besides a home run… in the National League, I like watching pitchers try to hit. And I like the opposing pitchers trying to make them look stupid.
Me: The “oooo!” moments. Any hit or catch that actually makes me exclaim out loud. Or when a beach ball comes my way. Or when a foul ball almost clocks someone in the face. Basically, it doesn’t take much to get me excited.

What is your least favorite thing about a baseball game?
JibJab: The wave.
Sean: The wave. And beach balls.
Me: People who are no fun. Actually, my biggest dislike goes for all sports, or anything in life. It’s when you sit by the loudest, most loquacious guy who also happens to know NOTHING about what is going on. For example:
Loud obnoxious guy: “OHHH! OHHH! He’s out! He is CLEARLY out! “
Umpire: Safe.

Speaking of Man Ram, what was your nickname in sports?
Sean: Stone, because everyone moved when a baseball was coming at them and I just stood there at let it hit me (Stone or Stupid?). Gas Man, because I was smaller but threw heat. Butterfly Killa, because I was playing catch one time and hit a butterfly. Bargs, which is short for Bargain Bin because you just started calling me that today. 1-9er, because… (I’m sorry, you have reached the nickname quota).
JibJab: Guy Who Makes Out With Hot Chicks
Me: Boss, because in high school I was a tad bit bossy, the captain, and it rhymes with Joss. My personal fave is Heiny, because (GASP!) my last name can be turned into a synonym for the gluteus maximus. I thought I left that behind me in 4th grade, but my USC soccer team rediscovered it. Imagine dribbling down the sideline and have 3 streaking forwards screaming Heiny at the top of their lungs. So great.

Manny being Manny excuse:
Me: Doesn’t this mean I could come into work at like 2 and chalk it up to just Jocelyn being Jocelyn? I really want Cole Hamels to explain why he threw inside on Manny and eventually hit him as just Cole being Cole.

Why are Runs not at the end of the scoreboard?
Me: Personally, when I look at the very end of the scoreboard, I would assume that is the score. Not errors. Are errors really an important enough stat to be put on the scoreboard? You don’t see rebounds or assists at a basketball game.
Sean: That’s actually a good point.
JibJab: Agreed. Weird, that made sense.
Me: Gee… thanks.

The Blonde Moment of the Day
Me: “Do they have someone famous or special throw out the first pitch at every game”?
Sean: “Oh most of the time.”
Me: “Well does that get factored into the pitch count? I mean, did you see Mariah Carey attempt to throw a baseball?”
Sean and Justin look at each other and giggle
Me: “Oh crap, never mind…”

Things I learned:
The Shift - There is some defensive strategy. The Gas Man pointed out that when Ryan Howard is up to bat, the short stop moves behind 2nd base, and the second baseman moves over to the right as well. Thus, a shift.

Beach balls – According to the Butterfly Killa, Dodger fans are more worried about beach balls than the actual game. I only found this to be 60% true.

Hustle is not Manny’s style. Maybe every other day he’s hustlin’?

The Throw Around – This is what I’ve decided to call the breaks in between innings. Doesn’t that sound much better? “And now, ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for the 4th Inning Throw Around!” Each inning should have a different break name, like the 7th Inning Stretch, or the 5th Inning Have a Catch. The names need some work.

New favorite thing at a baseball game:
The “I Love L.A.” song. First of all, when this song plays it is because we have won. I really do feel a sense of pride for my city. However, I laugh every time Randy Newman sings about driving down Imperial Highway. Have you ever driven down Imperial Highway? I have. When I’m driving through Inglewood. I also liked asking JibJab if girls from Kansas were jealous that the Beach Boys didn’t wish girls could all be from Kansas.

Manny vs Pau… who’s the bigger addition/benefit to the team? Who’s received the warmest welcome?
After the overly documented tumultuous summer last year (whoops I just brought it up again) with the Lakers and the loss of Andrew Bynum, Pau was a lifesaver. But whenever Manny Ramirez went up to bat, the cheers from the Dodgers crowd were not so much out of excitement but desperation. They need him. With the Lakers, we have Kobe who can, and has, single handedly put a team on his back. These L.A. baseball fans now think they have that in Manny. In my opinion, this move by the Dodgers, and the hiring of Joe Torre, is setting up the franchise for future success. Mark my words, in the next 2 to 40 years, the Dodgers will win a World Series. Maybe I’m going out on a limb, but do you want to bet against me?

Can someone give me a hand? Thanks… ok, back on the bandwagon!

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