“Game's the same, just got more fierce.” – Slim Charles

Apparently you really need to keep an eye on this whole RotoHog Fantasy Baseball thing. My team value has dropped. Plummeted. It has no value anymore. Unfortunately, I was sick a little while ago (cough**cough-in vegas-cough**cough), and I really blew it. Actually, no. Pedro Martinez and Bib Popy blew it (That is also why I’ve kept you waiting with breath that is bated for another blog). But I am back on track and working my tail off to get my team value back above $300. As my buddy Steckface says, “Difficult takes a day… impossible takes a week.” (Or maybe that was Jay-Z…) Do not tell JibJab, for he will not let me live this down. Speaking of my rivals, here is my chance to plug the new HogBlogger League. The league is pitting my hundreds of thousands of readers and fans, against the friends and family who read JibJab and Lina’s blog. I’m running the risk of losing all of my friends, fans, or potential future husbands (and dignity) by linking to this, but click here to see a video they forced me to make. It is clear from this video that I have no idea what I’m doing and need some serious support. Please don’t judge me.

I will have you know that I attempted to watch a baseball game this weekend. My plan was to keep a running diary of a Dodger game. I quickly realized that Vin Scully narrates every second of every Dodger game, so he kind of stole my thunder. Instead, here are some of observations I made:

- This game was on Fox Sports West and they used the “x-mo” and it was WAY cool. Maybe I am a bit of a sports nerd, but I thought it was awesome how you could see the different ways pitchers grip the ball as it came out of their hands and how close that bat would get to the ball. I’m guessing these are some of the little things that I’m supposed to appreciate about the game. Done and done.

- Is there any other sport where the players really don’t have to look like athletes? Greg Maddux looks like a 9th grade geometry teacher and he was one of the top pitchers in his prime. Of course, Pau Gasol doesn’t exactly exude athleticism. (p.s. did anyone see that Laker game? Laker Fever… catch it!)

- I mentioned this before but Vin Scully does not stop talking. Ever. I think I heard him in the background of some commercials. He pauses mid-story to remind viewers what the count is, and then continues on without skipping a beat. I bet he was still talking during my hour nap between the 5th and 7th inning. Oopsies. He’s actually quite soothing. Like a lullaby.

- How many deaths/serious injuries have resulted from foul balls? Honestly, that looks terrifying.

- The first noise I’ve heard from the Dodger crowd was to boo Andruw Jones. I’m going to go ahead and sell him now.

- Scully says that Maddux is “not a big strike out guy,” but he is considered a legendary pitcher? How does one become a Hall of Fame level pitcher without striking out batters? Isn’t retiring batters part of a pitcher’s job? Once again baseball, you’ve left me befuddled. You’re good, you.

Well I gave it my best effort, but I think I passed out during Chan Ho Park’s time on the mound. The majority of the criticism about soccer games is that nothing happens, unless of course you play soccer or know the game. I can watch a scoreless match for the entire 90+ minutes and enjoy every well timed run or perfectly placed pass, because I understand and appreciate the level of skill and athleticism. While this may have not been the best Dodger game for me to watch, I came away with a greater admiration for the individual ability of each player, and that was after one (and from what I’m told, uneventful) game. Never fear, for I am continuing my quest to become a baseball fan. What is the must-see-matchup this week? Are there any good looking baseball players? Kobe for MVP!