Today is Friday the 13th, and the NFL season kicks off in exactly 13 weeks. So, over the next 13 Fridays, we’re going to take a look at the 13 states which haven’t produced a Hall of Fame football player. In the interests of full disclosure, the total is actually 14 states, but shoehorning that number into a nice balanced lead would have been aesthetically unpleasing. Besides, one of the 14 is Delaware, which only consists of a bridge, tolls, and signs for Atlantic City. But yes, we’ll address that state too.
Beginning today with Iowa, we’re going to review the 14 states that have yet to send anyone to Canton, along with 1) the possible reasons why, 2) reasons why the state could still be considered a football-friendly place, and 3) reasons why the state could be considered the Worst State for Football.
Now, you may know a thing or two about football, and you might be tempted to say, “But Iowa has produced a Hall of Famer. Three of them, in fact: Paul Krause, Andre Tippett, and Emlen ‘The Gremlin’ Tunnell.” But you’d be wrong. Sure, those gentlemen once lived in the Hawkeye State, played football for the University of Iowa, and kicked some occasional ass. But they weren’t born in Iowa, and place of birth is how the Pro Football Hall of Fame lists its inductees.
In honor of the state that kicks off the presidential race every four years, let’s kick off with Ashton Kutcher’s native land, asking, “Worst State for Football: Iowa?”
IOWA (pop: 2.9 million, 30th in the nation)
Entered the union: 1846
Number of NFL players all-time: 279, according to Pro-Football-Reference.com.
Number of active players: 22.
Best active player: Kurt Warner.
Best active draft bust: Robert Gallery.
Other Iowans you’ll occasionally see on SportsCenter: Dallas Clark, Kyle Vanden Bosch, Tim Dwight.
Name you’d never give your son: Sage Rosenfels.
Best retired player: Roger Craig. The Davenport native was the first NFL player with more than 1,000 yards rushing and receiving in the same season (1985), and bruised countless groins with his high-knee running style. Finished his 11-year career with 8189 yards rushing, 56 rushing TDs, 4911 yards receiving, 566 receptions, and 17 receiving TDs.
Why isn’t he in Canton? Because he’s suspected of killing Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. Wait, that’s O.J. Simpson, who also played for the Niners. Craig’s not in the Hall of Fame because he didn’t have a long period of sustained greatness. He was All-Pro once and made four Pro Bowls, but he doesn’t rank in the top 25 in career rushing yardage. And once Larry Centers came along and caught all those passes out of the backfield, Craig’s reception total looked unimpressive or something.
Other good players not invited to wear yellow blazers: Steve Bartkowski, Ed Podolak, Bryce Paup, Reggie Roby, Don Perkins, Marv Cook, Don Chandler, Jay Hilgenberg.
Best prospect for future induction: Warner. The guy’s a two-time NFL MVP, piloted the Rams to two Super Bowls (winning one), and Christ is his co-pilot. If Joe Namath can get into Canton with more career interceptions than touchdowns, then Warner’s candidacy can’t be dismissed.
Chances Warner will make the Hall: 1 in 5, and that’s if he retired today. If Matt Leinart keeps pouring beer bongs to underage girls, Warner might hold onto the starting gig in AZ for a while. And with Pro Bowl-caliber players at all the skill positions (Edge, Larry Fitz, Boldin), he certainly has the capability of amassing sexy statistics.
Beyond Warner, what active Iowan has the best shot at the Hall of Fame? Kyle Orton. The Neck Beard Hall of Fame, that is.
In Iowa, if athletes aren’t playing football, it’s because they’re…wrestling, caucusing, buying tickets to Farm Aid.
In their defense…Iowa has the highest average radon concentrations in the nation due to significant glaciation that ground the granitic rocks from the Canadian Shield and deposited it as soils making up the rich Iowa farmland (Wikipedia).
That’s no excuse for lame football. After all…John Wayne was born in Iowa and he drank radon for breakfast.
College teams: University of Iowa, Iowa State, Northern Iowa.
What’s great about them? Not much. Iowa hasn’t played in a Rose Bowl since 1991 and hasn’t won the game since 1959. Meanwhile, Iowa State’s Cy the Mascot was awarded CBS Sportsline.com’s 2007 award for “Most Dominant College Mascot on Earth.”
Yeah, and? And nothing. Good for Cy.
If Howie Long is in the Hall, why isn’t…Elmer Layden of Davenport, Iowa? Here are Mr. Layden’s credentials: One of Notre Dame’s Four Horsemen, he coached Notre Dame from 1934 to 1940, then became the first commissioner of the NFL (1941-1946). Basically, if he played baseball, he’d be Joe Tinker + Miller Huggins + Kenesaw Mountain Landis, all of whom are enshrined in Cooperstown.
Heisman winner(s): Nile Kinnick, 1939, University of Iowa. Perhaps Kinnick, a native of Adel, Iowa, would be in the Hall of Fame right now, but he died in a plane crash during World War II.
Professional teams: None.
Minor league teams of note: Sioux City Bandits (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sioux_City_Bandits) of the Indoor Football League. Fred Jackson, running back for the Bills, played for the Bandits a few years ago.
The Bandits’ big rival: The Omaha Beef (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Omaha_Beef). And yes, they sell team merchandise (http://www.beeffootball.com/merchandise/).
The only word that rhymes with Iowa is…Iowa. Here’s the first stanza of the Iowa state song, aptly titled “The Song of Iowa”:
You asked what land I love the best, Iowa, tis Iowa,
The fairest State of all the west, Iowa, O! Iowa,
From yonder Mississippi's stream
To where Missouri's waters gleam
O! fair it is as poet's dream, Iowa, in Iowa.
Most well-known athlete who didn’t play football: Bob Feller.
However, Sports Illustrated says…the best athlete in state history is Dan Gable, who coached the University of Iowa to nine straight NCAA titles and 15 overall, after rolling around with guys himself as a collegian.
Reason(s) why the state should still be considered football-friendly: The Telephone Trophy. “When the coaches’ field phones were tested prior to the 1959 Iowa State-Missouri football game in Ames, it was found that the teams could hear one another,” according to the Iowa State athletic department Web site. “The problem was solved by game time, but not without considerable worry on the part of the coaching staff. The Northwestern Bell Telephone Co. of Ames had a trophy made after the field phone controversy and it continues to be presented today to the winner of the game between ISU and Mizzou.”
Zzzz…wait, what, Iowa has cell phone service?
Reason(s) why the state could be considered the Worst State for Football: Kansas, Nebraska and West Virginia all have smaller populations than Iowa, yet together they’ve produced 11 Hall of Famers.
Who cares if the state isn’t known for football? It’s still known for…soybeans, the creative writing program at the University of Iowa, and the place where Buddy Holly, Richie Valens and The Big Bopper died in a plane crash.
Next Friday on Worst State for Football: Hawaii.
