Picture this: a dim, smoky room, rank with the smell of sweat and booze.  A bunch of guys lounge around, staring intently.  No, I’m not talking about Bill Simmons’ VIP suite at a Vegas strip club.  I’m talking about your fantasy draft.  Okay, maybe not yours exactly – you probably do it online – but somebody’s.  Probably Bill Simmons’.

Either way, all drafts go pretty much the same way.  The first few rounds are flush with excitement – Will that stud RB fall to me?  Do I go RB or WR here?  But after that, interest starts to wane a little bit.  What’s exciting about having to pick between D.J. Hackett and DeShaun Foster?  And then there’s always that annoying, snarky guy who gloats every time one of his “sleepers” falls to him (okay, I’m usually that guy).

So, in order to keep you on your toes until the kickers finally start to come off the board – the last round, and never, ever before – I’ve got a little something up my sleeve.  Veteran RotoHoggers probably already know where I’m going with this – remember the NFL and NBA drafts?  Yes, I’ve found yet another way to combine drinking and sports – presenting RotoHog’s Fantasy Football Draft Drinking Game!  Hey, nobody ever said you couldn’t drink and draft...

THE RULES

(Depending on the intelligence of your draft-mates, you might just want to stick to beer. Especially if you’re drafting online in a public league.  Trust me, those people are idiots.)

Drink ONCE
*whenever you’re on the clock
*when you pick a player
*when a player from your favorite team is picked
*whenever someone picks a non-RB in the first round
*if someone doesn’t show up for the draft and their team gets auto-picked (internet only)
*and again each time the team auto-picks a player (internet only)
*whenever an obvious homer picks someone from their favorite team WAY too early – “C’mon, this is Rex Grossman’s year, I just KNOW it. A fifth-rounder is a bargain!”
*when a player from RotoHog’s Summer Police Blotter is picked

Drink TWICE
*when someone selects a suspended player – i.e. Steve Smith or Brandon Marshall
*if someone picks a player not currently in the league – i.e. Shaun Alexander
*and twice again for each week they’re suspended
*whenever someone takes a defense before the 10th round
*if someone picks Aaron Rodgers over Brett Favre
*if someone takes more than one TE, DEF or K
*if an auto-drafting team makes a bone-headed choice – i.e. taking three QBs or picking an injured player
*every time the term “sleeper” is mentioned
*when someone picks a kicker before the last round

FINISH your drink
*if YOU select a kicker before the last round – you should know better than that

Of course, if your draft goes like I think it will, you might not be sober enough to remember that last rule.  With more and more people playing fantasy sports nowadays, it just means that more and more uninformed – i.e. stupid – people will be playing.  I mean, not everybody has RotoHog’s vast resources at their disposal.  Feel free to peruse our positional rankings and team previews before you draft.  They’ll help you stay sober enough to win your league.

Think you can keep up with this, people?  Got any ideas for rules?  Let us know what you’re drinking and who you’re picking.  Don’t be afraid to talk some Smack and let us know what’s up, or just comment below.  Bring it!