Well, the NBA Conference Finals are officially set and I'm not all too happy. First, with the teams that are remaining, it's clear that we'll have to wait at least another year for a different team to take home the title. Of the last 21 champions, the trophies have been divided amongst the same 6 teams, the Spurs, Lakers, and Pistons included in them, and guess who won it all just before this current reign began? The Celtics, with their last of 16 titles. Second, I can't help but feel both disappointed that the great story of the New Orleans Hornets is over. And lastly, I'm at a loss trying to figure out who I'm going to root for to win it all now, but I gotta root for someone or why care?

So let's start with the Western Conference finalists where we have the Los Angeles Lakers and the San Antonio Spurs.

Honestly, I don't know how anyone can root for the Spurs. They stand for everything that I hate: dirty play, whining, old people, San Antonio, and foreigners taking American jobs. Okay, I'm obviously kidding about one of those, but I'm not saying which one; that way, if you're offended by the old people comment then the foreigner line is the real one, and visa versa (let's see you write your letters now!) The San Antonio one is definitely real though. You guys haven't done anything for this country since 1836 and, honestly, even while writing this I forgot about the Alamo. Seriously, lock it up! As for the rest of those problems, I am so sick of seeing Tim Duncan hug the ball and whine after just about every call against him (he whines after 86.6% of every call against, second only to Rasheed Wallace with a staggering 93.4%) and every call he doesn't get. And the dirty play is too much already. With Ginobli and Bowen flopping on the offensive side and then on the defensive side taking cheap shots and, even with their kneecap still in the other players' throat, they hold their hands up and look around like they don't know what there might be a whistle about. Then there's Robert Horry. The funny thing is, before he got to San Antonio, Horry was best known as "Big Shot Bob" for his clutch shooting, mostly with the Lakers, but San Antonio must teach a culture of dirty play because he's definitely known for something else now. I move to change his name, as long as he's a Spur, from "Big Shot Bob" to "Cheap Shot Bob." I think I hear a second and third to the motion coming from Phoenix and New Orleans.

As for the Lakers, Kobe Bryant is just too unbelievable. On the court, he does unbelievable things and I'm a definitely a huge fan of that, but off the court he says things I just don't believe. To prove my point, I have brought samples: After receiving his MVP trophy this season he announced to the Staples Center, "I love you guys so much (no he doesn't). It's been 11-12 years, we still got many years to go…" Yeah, more years to go as long as long as he feels the team is good enough to play with him. And my next quote helps prove that point; I think you'll all remember this one from the past summer, "I would like to be traded… There's no other alternative... At this point, I'd go play on Pluto." He chose the Plutoans (Plutoeans?) over the Lakers fans because that's how much he loves them. Oddly enough, though, I believed that one until very soon after we had this, "This is my team… I want to be a Laker for life." I'm no mathematician but one of those has to be a lie. And then there's my personal favorite, "I did not rape that girl" (not an exact quote). Now, that one can be debated for years, but one thing's for sure: Kobe is a D-bag.

In the end, though, Kobe on the court is a hell of a lot more fun and a hell of a lot less frustrating than the Spurs so as long as Kobe can keep his mouth shut, I'll be pulling for the Lakers to make their first post-Shaq finals.

As for the Easters Conference finalists, we have the Boston Celtics vs. the Detroit Pistons.

There's one major flaw that these two teams have in common and that's they're both incredibly cocky, but in different ways. The Celtics, who only a year ago were the worst team in the NBA, finished this year with the best record and all season they had a swagger about them that I didn't care for. And it wasn't just that they expected to win everyday, that's fine, but they acted like they were the best and they routed teams with far less talent, almost as if they were trying to make up for last season and make a statement so everyone knows they're good now. The problem is you don't prove anything in the regular season and a mediocre 8-6 post-season thus far isn't anything to make a Sports Illustrated official team championship package about. My other "big" problem is with the "big 3" (I will not give them the satisfaction of a capital b). Not so much with Paul Pierce, he seems fine enough, even if he did phone it in last season. And Ray Allen isn't that bad really, except for that ill-conceived SportsCenter commercial where he suggests their nickname should be "mirage a trois" (or maybe "barrage a trois," I can't really tell), a play on menage a trois. The problem is, ever since seeing Allen in He Got Game, I get uncomfortable now when I see the three of them on the court at the same time. I know, I know, Allen probably didn't write it, but still, he should've known better. The real problem is with Garnett. Every time I see him he acts like he's so hot right now, which is a lot for someone who is still without a ring. And there's one more thing, this one's not such a big deal really, but does Rondo kinda reminds anyone else of the little red Monstar from Space Jam? He just seems like this annoying little thing that's always in your ear and I just wanna smack him. Maybe that's just me.

I guess I already mentioned my major issues with the Pistons: Rasheed is a whiner and they're cocky. Their cockiness is a little less frustrating, though, than the Celtics'. They just think they're so good that they don't have to show up sometimes. While that is annoying, and from what I hear so typical of men, there's a big difference between them and this Celtics team: the Pistons have been there before so they have a little more right to act like they know what they're doing. It also made for a fun first 4 games vs. the 76ers. Of course, I still haven't fully forgiven the Detroit fans for the Artest incident and I'm not especially happy with the way they walked out on their Lions in previous seasons. That's still an issue I'm going to have to think about because as you can tell by the fans who strut around in their team championship sweatshirts, when your team wins you win with them.

Bottom line is, the possibility of hearing "The Boston 3 Party go all the way" and of Kevin Garnett getting vindication with a championship makes me angrier than the thought of the Pistons fans getting one, so I'm hoping for a Lakers vs. Pistons finals. As for the champion… well, let's hold out on that. Who knows, maybe everyone will forget the Alamo and San Antonio will just go away, opening the door for the Hornets to come back and continue their magic run.